You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Bored...

I'm bored.

Do you ever get bored? I mean antsy, easily excitable, turning green and making disappointing movies bored?

I'm bored like that right now. And while I'm not about to freak out and kill the whole town, I am about to write a big long blog post about nothing in particular.

This time, it's going to be about humor.

I love puns. They're the purest form of wit. I could spend all day turning phrases and juxtaposing letters.

Puns, although so easy to revile, help us realize that everything about life is the tiniest fraction away from being hilarious. Language is civilization, and comedy is built into language at its most basic level. Maybe that's why people hate puns so much - it's tough to take yourself seriously when someone's standing there showing you that it's futile. And who doesn't want to take themselves seriously now and again? Especially when civilization is concerned.

I love double entendres. When I'm in an actual conversation with you, I'm going to interrupt you with another one several times a minute. Why? Well because let's be honest here: if your mom didn't say it last night, it's probably not worth saying.

Double entendres are really the sirens of the comedy world. They're soooo easy. But as soon as you start to rely on them, BAM! They drag you down into the sea. It's impossible to get away. They cling to your neurons like (aptly named) silly putty. Pretty soon, everything anyone says is being retrofitted in your brain, and when you start laughing they ask what's so funny. You either admit that you've added "in my pants" to their statement about their daughter going off to college, or come up with something on the spot that is not only equally funny, but less terrifically inappropriate. (Hmm, that last one might not have been an accurate example. If anyone can tell me what "in my pants" jokes are called, please do. Hopefully they're not just "jokes". That'd be kind of sad.)

I love irony. Irony is typing something into your blog, and having the automatic spell-checker tell you that "blog" is not a word. It says "view blog" at the top of the screen! Why isn't there a little red line under that one? Maybe only large multinational corporations are allowed to use fake words. Maybe it's an oversight. Maybe it's... ironic. "Hmm" is also not a word, even though I find myself saying it frequently, even in text. I'm probably just more reflective than the computer. Probably the anti-glare monitor. (Buh-dum-bum! Man, it is just Raining puns today!)

Coincidentally, this is the first time (!) that anyone has ever uploaded the phrase "it is just raining puns" onto the internet. Seriously. Check Google. I hope you can appreciate the momentousness of this occasion.

And that's about enough to unbore me for the day. (Unbore: also not a word. Debore maybe? Nope. Oh well.) Catch you all later.

-s